Owning Your Outcome, Serving Your Team, and Starring In Your Role w/ Dylan Hendrickson (Part 1) - Ep. 18

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Today's guest is Dylan Hendrickson, co-founder of Stax, a fractional CFO and accounting firm that helps seven and eight-figure businesses implement private equity style finance and accounting functions. Based in St. George, Utah, Dylan leads sales and marketing for the firm. He is also a former Division I football player, a high school basketball coach, and a proud husband and father. Dylan, thank you for being part of this. Welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

Thanks for having me. Stoked to be here.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

So I you have you live in St. George, Utah. And so before we get going on anything else, uh, Utah is one of the most beautiful places that I've ever been. And um it was on a road trip uh in my first year in the United States. I drove from Kansas City or all the way to San Diego to visit a friend uh uh who was on my college baseball team. And um driving through Utah was like where I had like some like epiphany moments in my life. Uh just uh pulled over on the side of the road, uh climbed to the top of I don't know what you call them mountains or whatever they're uh they're called, but and just went up there and sat and it was just like nothing. There's no sound, there's really barely any cars going down on the highway, and it was like uh got to do a lot of thinking up there. So um I yeah, you live in a beautiful place, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

Oh, I'm crazy biased, but I'd absolutely agree with you. I I love Utah. The more that I leave, the more I'm like, why do I keep leaving? Like this place is awesome.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

Just stay here. And have you always lived uh in Utah? Did you grow up there?

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Yeah, so I was born and raised in St. George, went to high school, went to college here, met my wife here. Um we lived in northern Utah, closer to you know a place called Utah County, kind of in between Salt Lake City and Provo. Um so we were there for about three years, and then we just moved back to St. George um like eight months ago.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

Oh, cool.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

So yeah, happy to be back.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Awesome, man. And so football. So I'm assuming you grew up and football was a big part of your identity from a pretty young age.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

Yeah, football and basketball. I kind of started playing both of those at the same time. I mean, I was actually a little bit more of a basketball kid in high school. Um and then just how it shook out, I ended up you know getting a chance to play at my hometown school for football, and it was too good to pass up, so then went and did that instead.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

And so you went through you experienced almost every possible role in college football, from red shirt to bench warmer to starter to record breaker, all conference player, all American, and then getting benched again and then finding your way to starting again. Which which of those seasons taught you the most?

SPEAKER_00 2:59

I mean, the hard ones always teach you more than the good ones, right? Um, it was definitely unique, you know, in high school being kind of the guy for basketball and football, and then you go to college and all of a sudden everybody there is the guy, right? Um so yeah, I would definitely say those first two years um definitely taught me a lot. And then then when I did start to become a starter and have a more active role on the team and um being a leader, there's obviously a lot to learn from being in a leadership position as well. Um, so it was a lot of fun because I kind of eventually I took the mindset of like, okay, I'm I'm a red shirt, I'm scout team, I'm not really involved outside of that, but it gave me such a good perspective for when I was a starter and I was the older guy on the team to, you know, I knew what it was like to be in those kids' shoes, right? So I was able to lead and teach them better because of it.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Yeah, no, I I feel like um like that's a that's a perspective that you probably don't get when you are you come in as the guy and you you only know a role of being the star. Um that I I feel like you don't get to see some of the other pieces that make up a team and a winning culture and like what else goes into it. Um and um what's like what's a few things that you probably gained perspective on um being in that role first that helped you develop into the type of leader you became when you were the guy?

SPEAKER_00 4:39

I had uh an offensive line coach, so I played mostly defensive end when I was in college, which that was a whole nother thing too, because I was I played corner and wide receiver in high school, and most of my college career I played defensive end. So you can tell like there was definitely a big um learning curve there in terms of like I had to learn how to hit somebody, right? And you know, I had to put a lot of weight on. I went from my first year getting there to my last year, I went from like 180 pounds to about 245 pounds. Um, so that was a crazy journey too. But I had an offensive line coach. Um, and being on the defensive line, obviously we interacted a ton. Um, he always would give a speech at the beginning of the year where he talked about starring in your role, right? And it was he'd he'd tell a story about putting a man on the moon and how you know the the the higher up people in NASA or whatever would go, and there was somebody, you know, 3-4 a.m. scrubbing the bathroom floors. And it's like, what are you doing here? Why are you still here? And they said, I'm putting a man on the moon. And it's kind of that idea of like, regardless of what your role is, like, be where your feet are and star in your role. Um, and it kind of my first year I didn't, I had a hard time with that. My second year, again, even as a registered freshman, I was still a scout team guy. I didn't play at all besides a little bit of special teams. But that second year I had a better mindset around like, hey, I got to star in my role, like my my role matters still. I'm still helping the team win by starring in the role, even though it's not suiting up on Saturdays really, or actually playing. But I have to do, I have to start in my role to prepare the people that are going to play so that they can perform at the highest level, right? And me being able to be in that role when I was a starter, now it's like I know what it was like to be on the other side of that, and I can be encouraging to those guys. And I can because it's hard to see how when you're when you're on the scout team, it's hard to see how you have an impact on the team winning, but it is like vitally important, right? If you have a great scout team and they're giving you a great look, you're just gonna be that much more prepared when you're actually playing um in the game on Saturday. So it gave me a really good perspective that way. Um, and I've kind of tried to carry that with me post-football too. Like, you know, the grass is greener where you water it, be where your feet are, star in your role are all things that I think about often.

SPEAKER_01 6:45

Star in your role. No, I love that. And it's um you made me think of uh um the New Zealand rugby team, the All Blacks. I don't know if you've uh familiar with them. Uh they have um they have a like a team culture that's centered around their uh lessons of leadership, and one of them is uh what one of them is the you know the what uh my firm Arahead uh is named after, but another one that makes this makes me think of is their uh their analogy of uh they call it sweep the shids. And it's um and I'm wondering if this also played a part in um your early roles and then how you transitioned and uh if it this if like it's centered around that this uh very real thing that would happen like after after a match, you know, the team is in the locker room celebrating hopefully a win. Um and you know, after a after a game, you know, uh whether it's a dugout or a locker room or whatever, it's you know, it's probably a mess, right? There's things all over there's trash on the floor, there's um wrap that people are taking off and thrown on the ground and stuff. And it's centered around this idea that um no one is too big uh to sweep the sheds afterwards. And so the All Blacks, wherever they went around the world is uh and played away in other people's facilities, um, you would see the captain, like these leaders who had, you know, had a hundred test caps, uh, which is like a huge feat uh for international test rugby, uh, would be the guys that would be sweeping the sheds and cleaning up and leaving it bitter than they found it. Um and like I feel like that kind of uh you know, in especially with like teams that I've been on, you know, I've you know I've encountered both the the types of you know of you know seniors or leaders or veterans of a team that uh that don't do that, you know, because they're they're above that kind of stuff now because they're they're you know the guy. But then there's I've been in teams where there's those leaders who nothing is beneath them uh and really embody that. And those are the types of leaders that I feel like teams and cultures follow. Um, you know, and then that's you know to me, that's real leadership, leading by example, um, not you know, the senior that tells the freshman clean up that it's the senior that sees that and cleans it up and sets the example. Is that uh how big of a part did that play?

SPEAKER_00 9:30

I agree 100%. Honestly, you you nailed it in my mind, like leadership is service, leadership is the senior serving the freshman and showing them how to do it, but showing them by example how to do it, putting the arm around them, being like, hey, I've been here before. This is how you need to do it, right? Um, leadership's not you know, turning a blind eye and thinking that you're above it, right? And you know, I was lucky, I was blessed to play for, you know, in my opinion, one of the best high school football coaches in the state of Utah ever. Um, and he taught us that just over and over and over again, that um the path to fulfillment really is through service. Um and it's the same thing with leadership, right? Like, like great example, right? And we would do the same thing in our locker rooms where yeah, you gotta pick the tape up, you gotta pick the pre-wrap up, right? You're not just throwing your pads off and leaving, right? Um, so yeah, 100% leadership is service. Um, and when I was kind of going through that transition phase of being like I went from literally not playing a single snap on defense my retro freshman year to starting a retro sophomore year and breaking records and and things like that, um, for sacks specifically. Um, and kind of transitioning into a leadership phase. And I remember reading a book called Uh Leadership Strategies and Tactics by Jocko Wilnick. He has a different book that's a little bit more popular. Um, but that's one that I read, and there was a line in there that has just stuck with me so much, and it's you know, it's it's all on you, but it's not about you. Right. And I've that's something I try to live by in business and in life, where it's like, yeah, and from a football perspective, it's like, hey, we we have that mindset as a defensive lineman. It's like if we're gonna win this game, it is literally all on us. Like we single-handedly have to go win this game and do our jobs, but it's not about us. We have to do a great job. So the linebackers have an easier time, so that the corners and safeties have an easier time, so the offense has less less pressure on them, right? So it's that mindset, but it's all on me, and I have extreme ownership and preemptive accountability, but it's not about me. It's it's about the team and it's about winning, you know, as a whole. So and I think that really translates greatly to leadership as well, where you're a great leader to be a great leader, like it is all on you, and everything is your fault, everything below you per se, there that performance is your fault, and you have to have that ownership. But again, it's not about you, and and you that translates to business honestly, one for one, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

Yeah, no, I completely agree. And um that that phrase you just said is uh that everything is your fault, like uh is something uh you know, I said a lot to myself in my first year of business uh when I would encounter those kind of moments, and it was as soon as uh you know you're able to accept that those words that at the end of the day, you know, because you know there's so many things in business and athletics, sports, and life in general that you can point blame somewhere else for the circumstance that you're under. Right. Like I feel like basically every circumstance uh that you ever is you know encounter, you can place you can probably place blame somewhere else to a degree or at least convince yourself blame, but then it's like that doesn't, you know, I've you know found that you know that just doesn't help you at all. But what does is if you can just accept like things get so much easier as soon as you can accept that it's you know this is my responsibility, this is my fault, even if it you know, even if it l genuinely wasn't, uh and you know, in that regard, like it's you're still responsible for it, which loops around to which means it it's your fault, you know, and it makes everything easier. Um so no, I completely agree with that.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

So 100% the biggest disease on the planet is people making themselves the victims, right? And and even and there are situations where you genuinely might be the victim, but it doesn't serve you to label it that way or to think of it that way, right? Um in football, we we called it BCDs, right? People that blame, complain, and defend. It's like dude, that that is below the line behavior, right? And that's an Urban Meyer thing. Um, he has a whole book written on that. Um, but yeah, I I agree 100%. The um I don't read any as much as I should anymore, but there was a couple of books that I read um that first year or two of college when I really, again, I wasn't playing, I wasn't you know doing anything like that. And one of them was um The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. And those first like 10 principles were just so dang good, right? There was one where it was like you truly like the path to um personal development and self-improvement begins once you can look yourself in the mirror and reconcile the fact that whether you love where your life's at or hate where your life's at, it's a hundred percent your fault, kind of like what we were talking about. Um because once you accept that, now you have ownership of it, and now you can do what it takes to improve it, right? But if you're constantly blaming and complaining and defending and putting that externally on someone else or something or the economy or whatever, like you're giving that ownership away. And why would you want to do that? Right? Like improvement doesn't come from shifting that somewhere else, it comes from okay, what can I do? Um, but again, what can I do? But it's not about me, it's about service of others.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

Yeah, no, it's it I think yeah, it all kind of comes full circle to the the big picture in the end, whether it is in a football team or in business or just ownership over your life.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

Um yeah, my big realization uh between playing college football, coaching high school basketball, being married, and being newly a father and and growing a business, it's all the same thing. Like it's it's all the same principles, it's all the same frameworks, it's just in a different environment. But honestly, it it all translates, it's all the same thing. At least that's kind of my experience so far.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Yeah, no, and I mean it's that's been my experience too. It's the it's it's all just uh a different different application to the same lessons that we're just constantly learning uh throughout life. And you know, that's you know, it's where um recently, um uh just over a year ago, I you know, I needed I needed some kind of hobby that was like an ath you know a sport uh to um so that it wasn't all just business uh all day, every day. Um and so for me that uh that became golf. And man, the like the parallels that I've drawn already from golf that directly translate to business, that directly translate to just life in general, and being able to, you know, I'll see business lessons that I've already learned and been able to be like, well, that is a lesson that I know is true in business, that I know is the exact same lesson I need to learn in golf. So, like, and it saved me you know the heartache of having to learn the lesson twice, but just learning it in a in a different way, um, which is you know is great. Um, but so many parallels.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

I think we might just be the same person because I did the exact same thing. I'm not done with college football and I was like, well shit, like need something hard to do. It's like what's something hard I can do, and I landed on golf. Same thing is like oh wow, golf. So I've been golfing like two years, and yeah, same same exact thing as well.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Humbling humbling, isn't it? Oh, incredibly, especially, you know, we both have come from team sports, so like golf is just like a different animal where it's like the especially when you know, even in some of the uh the situations where uh you know I've been playing like a match against someone, like the um I've played my first like match for this a club that I uh became a member of last year, um uh about a month ago, and I was so excited to be in the arena competing again that I at the end of it and I would like uh I lost terribly. All right, I played awful, uh it was it was an absolute disaster, and then I reflected on it afterwards, and I was like, yeah, it's because like my focus was solely on on him. Like I remember, I can still like feel it as if it's happening right now. Be standing over the ball to make a putt, and in my mind trying to calculate what his next putt's for, and I'm like, where is my focus? Like, it's not where it should be. It should be on it needs to be on the present right now, visualizing what I'm doing. But I was so focused on him that a big part of it was like I beat myself because of where is my attention uh in this moment, and for the majority of that match, it was on him. And you know, I've learned that golf is a game, like you golf is a lot easier when you're playing the only person you're playing against is yourself, and you just focus, and then I'm like, oh my gosh, that's literally business. That's like I've already learned that lesson in business. Um, and that's been my philosophy from the beginning is like I don't see you know other firms as competition because then my focus is going to be on what are they doing and not gonna be on what we're doing. Um, if and if I you know if I saw other firms as competition, we wouldn't be talking right now, and I wouldn't have found hopefully a new golf buddy to go out uh come out and visit in Utah and play around because I would have been I would view you as some kind of competition. Um but you know it's uh and I was like, wow, so I've like I already know this in business. Like like why do I have why did I have to go through learning this in golf again when I already knew it?

SPEAKER_00 19:59

It's uh it's a great game to play if you want some lessons in you know patience and being kind to yourself. Um and uh yeah, it'll really expose your self-talk and make you realize how harsh you are on yourself, is what I've noticed sometimes. Um, where it's like the stuff you say to yourself you wouldn't say to somebody else, but you'll say it to yourself, you know, when you duff a shot. Um yeah, it's it's an incredibly mental game, like it's a mental challenge in a lot of ways. And yeah, it's been a blast. It's been a blast to play.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

Um a book uh that I I listened to recently. Uh it's it was uh like an hour and a half audio book, and uh he reads it himself, and he's got a he's he he has a nice you know storytelling voice uh that I think you would really love. Is uh by Dr. Barb Rutella, um, who's like the golf world's uh performance psychologist uh guy. Uh he has a number of books out there. I've listened to a few now, but the first one, uh Highly Command, is called Golf Is Not a Game of Perfect, and it speaks a lot to um you know how you talk to yourself when you're out there playing, um, and that fine line between the need to be confident in yourself while also at the same time eliminating expectations, which is like a very, very hard thing to do. Um because you're confident that you will succeed and you'll perform, but then especially, you know, as we know like being new to golf, and like with golf, you know, it's impossible to screw you know, in baseball you can have a perfect game, in football, you can have a shutout, but golf, there's no such thing as a perfect round, right? Like so by definition. Golf is not a game of perfect and especially being you know new novice golfers, it's even more so not a game of perfect and but handling expectations and then um and it's like another one I I realize that in business it's like you can set goals for yourself but and be confident that you will you'll hit those and you accomplish what you want to. But when you have these expectations and you know, because timing is a factor in that, like maybe you you set the right goal or the right target, but then like timing is you know, life has a weird way of uh making sure that you know that like timing is not something that you can control, and so maybe you're gonna hit that goal inevitably, but maybe it wasn't on your timeline. But if you don't hit it on your timeline, then it just opens this door to disappointment, and disappointment shoots your confidence, and it's like this compounding negative snowball effect.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

Um, but um definitely yeah, I had the crazy the realization too, not too long ago that like dang, from for where I'm at right now to where I'm trying to go as a golfer, like somewhat soon, it it's not about hitting more perfect shots or hitting more great shots, it's about hitting less horrific shots. It's about having less, you know, duffs and shots that I call them the what the fuck shots where you duff it and it goes 10 feet, right? It's like yeah, if I just need to hit less of those, I need to have less sevens and eights on the scorecard versus more pars, right? Like even if I'm just shooting bogey or shooting par, like that's great. I just need to eliminate the blow-up holes more than I need to have more great shots or great holes.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

Yeah, no, that's a hundred that's a hundred percent where I'm at too. It's like, all right, let's uh how do we how do we just achieve the goal of like look if we if we keep the ball in play, we've got a chance to be successful here, you know. And so it's like, but if you if we because the golf course I play at uh the most, my the club I'm is super tight, right? And so like me, I'm kind of like wild thing, right? It's I can hit it long, but I can it when you add when you add a lack of control to high speed, then misses don't miss in the rough, they miss in someone's backyard or across the street. Um and so it's like you it as soon as you hit a ball out of play, you just like you're eliminating you just you you take yourself out of it. And so how do you keep it in play and just give yourself a chance so that because it's when you hit it out of bounds, then you're you're most likely gonna have those blow-up holes, right? And um, but no, I think uh it's definitely uh the same same kind of place that I'm at with that journey. And so with football, how tell me about tell me about how then you broke so you broke through in your starting, and then you're setting all the this the sack records and all conference, pre-season all American, and everything's going great. Tell me about that, but then also I want to know then like then how did that then flip back to you getting benched?

SPEAKER_00 25:37

Yeah, great question. So this was a great exercise for me, where again, because I mentioned earlier, like I try to have the worldview of everything happens for you, nothing happens to you. I try to have the worldview of you know, everything's 100% my fault and extreme ownership. And so it was hard. And I and I had learned these lessons before that had happened. So going through that, it was a great challenge of like, okay, do you really believe that? Like, are you actually gonna live like that and own that? Um, because it was it was difficult. Yeah, I went from my red shirt sophomore year, you know, having 10 sacks in a season, breaking single season, single game records. Um, I'm in the top five for tackles for loss in a single season and in a game. Um, to then, you know, I started those first two games and had pretty of the next year, right? Um, that was actually when COVID happened. So then we had um a mini a mini COVID spring season that was like five games and started in all of those or maybe three out of five of those games, and then coming into that next season that was a full season, we I started those first two games, and you know, that second game, I was playing, they put a different package in, so I was playing kind of a different position than what a like straight defensive end. I don't want to get too technical, but I was playing slightly out of position, which is fine. And then I just didn't have a great game, and they said, okay, we're just gonna because I didn't play great in that spot, I went down the depth chart in the defensive end spot, which at the time was very frustrating and confusing, but um yeah, it was hard, honestly. I I especially that that year specifically, it was it was very challenging mentally. Um, I mean, I was still playing and I still you know had some success that year, but it was definitely different from there out, right? Like I started those first two games and then I was basically second string that rest of the way. So I was still playing. It's not like I was fully, fully benched, but um, and then even that following year, so I was like a double, triple senior, super senior because COVID gave me a year, and um my redshirt year gave me a year. Um, so when I was playing that final going through that last fall camp of that last year, I had gotten I was the strongest I'd ever been. I was having a great camp, definitely slated to be starting that last year, and I freaking pulled my my hip flexor and my groin, like we're going into the last week of camp. So the the last big week before our first game, I'm unable to practice, which like sucked. So, like, and I don't blame him. Like, you know, if if I'm coaching a basketball team in high school and a kid doesn't practice for a week, and we have a game that next day, and then he's ready to go with that. Like, I'm not starting that kid, he didn't practice for a week, right? So then going into that game, don't start. And so, even being like in my sixth season, I only started a couple of games that last year. Um, and it was really challenging, but I can tell you that my very last year, um, compared to my second to last year, I had so much more fun and so much more joy my last year because I I learned the lesson. Okay, I'm I'm trying not to get too rambly. So I had my my redshirt senior year, my redshirt junior year is what I'm talking about, right? Both of those years I went in as the starter, and most of that year I wasn't the starter, right? Even after being preseasonal American and breaking records and all that stuff. Um, my redshirt junior year was like I had the least amount of joy playing sports as I ever had in my whole life that year. And looking back on it, most of that was because I was so focused on myself, so worried about myself. And I had it was such an emotional roller coaster because I was really, really close to breaking the all-time sack record at the school, right? Like I only needed a couple of more, like two or three more sacks, right? So then when my reps go down because I'm not starting and all this stuff, and I'm so frustrated because I'm like, dude, I was so close by my red shirt sophomore year. How do I not end up doing it? Right, with all this time left, and I was so worried about myself, and I was in my look in the moment, a lot of time I was definitely playing the victim, which I shouldn't have been, but I totally was. I was upset and butt hurt about it, and it was just it was it was joyless, my my red shirt junior year, quite honestly, especially the second half of it. Um, it was just brutal. And then going into and and and that's a great lesson. And I I have a every year that I coach basketball, I have an in-depth sit-down one-on-one with at least one kid every single year. Uh, because I in the on the varsity basketball team that I coach. And and the lesson there is the more hyper focused you are on yourself and your performance and your stats, the more of an emotional roller coaster it is. Right? My my registered senior year, I even though I wasn't starting as much and I was still playing and you know, whatever, but I wasn't so worried about myself. I was worried about like, how can I serve the younger kids on the team? How can I help the team win? How can I continue to build a foundation for the team to be successful once I'm gone? I just really how can I serve the team? How can I help us win? Whatever that looks like. And I'm just grateful to be here. Like I'm it kind of puts it in perspective when there's hundreds of thousands of kids that would do anything to put a college football helmet on and play college football, right? And I'm blessed to be doing it and getting my school paid for, right? So it's just it's so corny, but it's really just like attitude of gratitude, right? I was so much more grateful my last year, just even be there and like, man, even if I'm not starting, like I'm playing football with my friends right now. Like, this is awesome. Right. And just like that perspective change. And quite honestly, the kid who took my spot is playing professional football now. You know, he was younger, he ended up going to like Washington State, and he's playing in the Canadian Football League now, and he's a good friend of mine. So it's like looking back on, like, of course that kid was playing over, man. He's freaking, he's a beast, you know. Um, but it was like, okay, how can I help him? Like, I'm older, I've been here years. There's things that I know he doesn't like. How can I help him? How can I serve? Um, and just having the attitude of gratitude and having a mindset of focusing on the team and my teammates, and how can I serve them instead of being so worried about me made that second year so much more enjoyable. Um, and when if and and it and again, it it all it's all the same thing, right? So if you start feeling that way in business or in relationship or whatever it might be, you know, odds are you're probably just focusing on yourself a little too much, right? And you need to just reframe like, okay, how can I serve right now? You know, whether that be your wife, whether that be, you know, your employees, maybe with your business partner, your clients, whatever it might be. Um, anytime I get filled that way, I try to reframe and be like, okay, like how can I just help and serve?