Fatherhood, Ambition, and the Ethical Obligation to Win w/ Dylan Hendrickson (Part 3) - Ep. 20

SPEAKER_02 0:00

So, kind of the timeline is I started my accounting firm basically like January of 2022. So I was that was when I was doing my tax internship and I was still playing football. Um I got my master's degree in May of 22. I finished my last football season fall of 22. And then 2023 was my first like full year running the business, like where that's all I was doing. I was doing it solo. I met my business partner May of 2023. So in May of 2023, I had somebody pay me for a full year's worth of accounting services, prepaid. Um, so I bought my my now wife's engagement ring, and then I joined a coaching program that I'd been looking at for years while I was in college. Um it was a little bit more geared towards like marketing agencies and businesses like that. And me and him were just the two random accountants in there. Um so naturally we got talking and you know, eventually we started collaborating on a couple of different clients. Um and then October of 2023, there was an in-person event in Tampa that we both went to. We shared an Airbnb for the weekend. And that last night there, we didn't even go to sleep, right? We just stayed up until seven in the morning talking all about it. And December, middle of December is when we officially kind of partnered and merged those two firms together. So it's been about two and a half years since that happened. And yeah, it's it's been great. Look, in hindsight, we definitely did it kind of quickly, but it it's worked out wonderfully.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

That's yeah, that's awesome. And uh, yeah, I mean, most people might think that's crazy, but uh, you know, it works, and like that's where I, you know, I believe um there uh a really good book that I read that shaped this and me a lot was uh uh Michael Singer's book, uh The Surrender Experiment. And it's it's really, you know, to kind of wrap it up in one or two sentences, it's it's really about um the you know the concept that life is going to take you in certain directions naturally, and even you might and kind of you're predisposed you know you that you're gonna have this these predisposed uh a predisposed idea or direction where you think you where you think you the direction of your life is and sh should go or you want it to go, and that might not be the same path that life is taking you down. And like, you know, as if you're like you know you're you're on a you're on a raft in a river, like you're going where the river takes you, even if you want to go left, if the river's going right, you're going right. And fighting it is not going to, you know, if you're you're trying to paddle upstream, but like the current is always gonna take you where where it's gonna take you. And fighting it's just gonna is not doing you any favors. And so it was it's about this um this guy, Michael Singer, and he he as soon as he he dedicated his life to his surrender experiment, uh, and he just wherever life took him, whatever opportunity was put in front of him, he would at least explore it and see where it where it took him. Because you know, instead of uh seeing this, you know, life presents you with this opportunity, you'd be like, no, that's not what I'm supposed to do, and fighting it. And as a result, he accidentally, you know, in a way, founded uh, you know, what we've probably all uh been diagnosed with uh uh terminal illness uh as a child or a teenager with WebMD, um and which he you know uh sold for hundreds of millions of dollars, and uh you know that was because life he he there was you know different moments where he could have fought against just little opportunities that were presented to him. Uh and as soon as he just let let go and just was open to where life took him, I mean he created something amazing. And so um is was there an aspect of that for you of just kind of like like did your did your did your mind kind of get split into two spaces? Like, man, like we haven't you know we haven't been dating that long, so like is this a stupid idea? But then just kind of like when you know you know and just trust it?

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Yeah, it was it was a lot of the second one, right? Like, I mean, we had a few clients that we were collaboratively working on together, so we had a somewhat of a sense and a taste of what it would be like to work together. Um, but it was just like, man, like we were doing such similar things, serving such similar people. We have complimentary skill sets. It just it just made too much sense. It's like, hey, we'll be able to do this a lot more efficiently, we'll be able to divide and conquer um if we do it together versus continuing to just do it solo, you know, and so we just sent it. And it's and it's been good. I mean, we're both former college athletes, he played college baseball um in California. Um, so a lot of our kind of foundational uh you know values are are very similar that way. Um, and it works great, right? It's not like I like to articulate it as like he's not my best friend on the planet, but like I could definitely be on a six-hour Zoom call with him and not hate my life. Like we'll have a fun time, we'll get through lots of work, you know, because sometimes being business partners with like your best friend or family can be really, really hard. But I don't want to be business partners with someone I don't enjoy working with either. You know, I feel like we strike like that really good balance of like I could totally go and fly out to Charlotte and hang out with him for the weekend, it'll be great. But it's not like we're best, best, best friends either, you know, like it's like we have a very I think we have a great dynamic that way where it's like we really enjoy working together, we know the other person has strong values and is trustworthy, but also, you know, there's we're not such good friends that we can't call each other out either, right? Like we can hold each other to a high standard and do of all those things. And um, yeah, it's but it's been really great. I've loved being business partners with him, and he brings a lot of skill sets that I don't have, and I'm able to bring some stuff that he doesn't want to do, and like just very complimentary that way, and it's been fun. That's like when you because it was my first business, right? Like I started this in college, I never went and worked right before or really did anything like that. Um, and it'd be your first business, man, like it can be crazy lonely, especially when you start young, right, and your friends aren't doing anything similar, and you're kind of just like silent off. I mean, there was nobody I knew that was in their master's program playing football and starting a business. Like there's no one to relate to, no one to talk to about it. Right. So honestly, that was a big part of it too, early on, is just like having somebody else to be going through it with um was really, really helpful, especially like the first year or two. Um it was great. So yeah, looking back on it, you know, you hear horror stories of bad partnerships, and that's what makes you think, oh, we kind of did that quick, but it it's worked out great for us.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

That's great. No, I I love to hear that. And I mean it's um, you know, you say something to someone to go through it with. I completely, completely get uh, because it's you know, uh this journey can be it can get lonely sometimes, uh um because you know, it's this is you know, regardless of age, this is a path less walked down because it's scary. There, you know, there's uh there's a lot of unknowns, and uh so you you might sometimes you might be the only car on the road, and it's nice having a passenger sometimes. And so, but speaking of so going through new things with someone, uh you're now going through that with your wife with uh as a new dad. When did that uh when did that happen for you guys?

SPEAKER_02 7:57

So our baby girl will be three months old tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

Congratulations.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

Very recent, thank you so much. It's the dang coolest thing ever, man. Like, I don't know. It's one of those things where like everybody says it, but it's you just don't get it, and then you have one, you're like, all of a sudden you get it. It's just like wow, like I don't know. Nothing nothing lights your day up or lights your world up like your baby smiling at you. Like that's that's been my experience, right? There's no better stimulant on the planet than your baby smiling at you and laughing at you, you know. It just really fills my cup up. And and I've I mean, I remember very vividly being in elementary school, being like, man, I can't wait to be a dad. It's something I've been looking forward to for a really long time. Um, so now that that moment's here, it's it's been so much fun, and it's been really fun um watching my wife go through that transformation too. I mean, she's you know, an amazing wife and mother. Um and she just lives again in service too, right? And it's it's been so much fun. I mean, I just like it is like it's so fun, it's so fulfilling. There's there's nothing better that I can think of, but there's a little piece of it that's like kind of sad too, because it's like she's never gonna be this little again. Like you get this time with her as an infant and a baby one time.

SPEAKER_00 9:20

Is this the football lesson of gratitude showing up in a in a new form?

SPEAKER_02 9:27

Yeah, I mean, it really is. It's just it just feels like there's a there's an underlying feeling of it's it's fleeting, right? Like, you know, I try to be very aware that I am currently in the good old days, you know. Um and yeah, I mean, even these first three months has just flown by, and I'm like, man, I just know it's everybody says it goes quick, and I believe them. Not for having one. Like, you know, we'll get this this summer of her being kind of an infant baby stage, like we get the one summer, and she's never she'll never be like that again, you know. Yeah um, but it's it's so fun. I mean, she's very loved. I'm me and my wife are both the oldest. I'm like head and shoulders the oldest sibling and cousin. Um, my grandma had my mom when she was 19, my mom had me when she was basically 17. Um, so I'm by far the oldest. Um, so she's the first grandkid on both sides, she's a both great grandkid on both sides. Oh, lucky all the way across the board. So she's she's very loved and very spoiled. We're very blessed. Um, but yeah, it's it's been great. Um it's it's made me made me focus and forces you to be a bit more efficient, too, right? Like I'm starting to feel myself wanting to work a highly productive, highly efficient six or eight hours instead of a 12-hour, 14-hour day working where I'm like kind of working throughout that whole day, but not as efficiently as I could, you know. Because when I first started near younger, it's like, yeah, I I'll work 8 a.m. to midnight, you know, on and off the whole day, you know. But now I I don't feel that way anymore. You know, that it starts rolling around. And you know, I'm very blessed to have a wife that doesn't make me feel guilty for working a lot or working really hard. She's very independent, she's very, very, very supportive that way. But I found myself starting to feel guilty and bad when I'm working that long where I'm like, I want to go and hang out with my my wife and my child. You know, so that's kind of been a it's been a bit of a force function of like, okay, you need to focus, like put your freaking phone in the other room and have a great locked-in six hours of work so you can have this other part of your day with them. Um, that's been an interesting kind of dynamic and and change, honestly, for the better, you know.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

Yeah, no, I mean absolutely and what has uh how has becoming a dad changed on your view of success or your relationship with ambition or just your uh you know your goals for life. You know, like how has how has this new chapter changed that? Because I'm sure it it has in in some way at least.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

Yeah, I mean it's what's tricky is it's like trying to find the balance between I already have everything I need.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

I already have everything I could ever want. I'm already blessed beyond measure and so grateful, while simultaneously knowing that there's so much more meat on the bone, there's so much more gas in the tank, and there's so much more you know to be had and accomplished, right? Anything that exists is it exists because it's achievable and for you to have, right? It wouldn't exist if it wasn't meant for it to be had. Um, so I I find myself often kind of oscillating between those two things and trying to live in both of those spaces at the same time where it's like, man, I have everything I could ever want. I have a beautiful wife, I have a beautiful baby, I have a house, like financially, we're okay, like we're we're all healthy, right? Like we have everything, we're already blessed beyond measure and have everything we could ever want. But at the same time, it's just like more and better now, right? Like, how can we do more? How can we do better? And um, I really like how Jeremy Haynes puts it. I don't know if you know who that is, but he talks about like it's easy to get comfortable and you have to give yourself new mountains to climb. And so it's like, yeah, from some of those standpoints, we are all good, but you know, the next mountain to climb and the reasons to continue to grow, like when you have you know, I mean, kids aren't cheap. And it's like if I want my kids to live the life I would like to bless them with, there's there's more that needs to be achieved still, right? And so it's like giving yourself new mountains to climb, right? Like, and at the same time, it's like the five years ago version of myself would be so dang stoked about where I'm at today. But at the same time, it's like there's still so much more that can be accomplished, and um yeah, hopefully that answers the question where it's like it's kind of living in wolf, and it's like realizing you already are the person capable of doing those things, you just gotta go do them.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

Yeah, no, that's um no, that makes sense, and it's um obviously there's an aspect of that that I uh I hopefully uh you know some point in the not too distant future will be able to relate to you on, and uh and you know, uh don't be surprised if I'm uh you know hitting you up or calling you or texting you to uh you know with some uh some questions or thoughts, uh, you know, because I feel like we we do really um see a lot of things the same, you know, the same way because even down to you know, you're saying from a young age uh you're excited to be a dad, like um it's like that's when I was you know 12 or 13 years old, like that and since then that's that's been the one thing uh in my life that's been constant that I've always known uh is that that's something that's that's one thing I want to be. Uh yeah, everything else has you know seemingly changed. You know, I want to be this, I want to be that, want to be that, but it's I've never wavered from from the like that, and you know, that really comes down to um you know in a big part like uh the relationship I've had with my dad, um, and you know, uh how close we were, and um and so um and so I do something that you know some uh some people think uh some people think it's cool, some people think it's a little weird, but um it was my way of also being able to uh to write. Uh like I I would stare at a blank page every time I tried to like journal, right, in that kind of sense. Uh, but then I started when I started the business, I uh started writing to my future kids, and it makes writing the most enjoyable thing I do every day. Um but so it's but for you it's um yeah, living in those two places is like uh is you know, I feel like I feel like that's like it's like it's it's uh like a shifting dynamic almost, and it's um but I think probably some of the goals stay the same, but like the motivation or your reason for being and your why must change, and um you know, even just from the fact that I'm sure like one um like has one of those reasons uh and motivations for accomplishing you know in business uh more and uh uh is is one of those new reasons just to you know the setting a good example uh for your daughter one day to like of you know what you know what's possible and what you know what working hard at something and believing in yourself and pursuing your dreams, what what what can happen?

SPEAKER_02 17:36

Absolutely, yeah, and there's always been a a a dynamic of that. Like I have um I have four younger siblings, I'm the oldest by eight years, so I oftentimes it it feels more like I'm their uncle than their than their older brother. Um you know, all of our um like childhood situations were not ideal, uh to put it lightly. So I have always tried to kind of be that example of what kind of life you can have and what's accomplishable, and that some of the stuff that kind of went on when we were younger doesn't mean that you have to be the victim and just roll over and live the same lives um that some of the people before us lived. Um and that there's you know, it is possible to kind of make it out and and accomplish things and you know be a serving member of society and do all that stuff. And and it's again, it's it's just shifts, yeah, it's the same type of thing now with my daughter, right? I think there's a ton of parents out there that you know want their kids to look up to them and listen to them and take their advice, but it's like, is your advice really worth taking? Like, are you worth looking up to really? Like if you look in the mirror and ask yourself, and I think about that a lot. I want my kids to look at um me and my wife and think, yeah, like they are worth listening to, and like I do look up to them and I do want to take their advice. Um I do care what they think and what their opinion is, right? Um, I don't think I don't think as many parents command that as much as they wish they did, right? So it's like I want to be the person that is worth looking up to for my my daughter and my other future kids, and we're blessed to have more. So, yeah, there's definitely some motivations there. Um, you know, sure, like on the business, on the money side, but even in like how I treat my wife and how I treat the rest of the family and how I act day to day, how I take care of myself physically and mentally and all that kind of stuff, right? Like kids are just mirrors of you in a lot of ways, right? Like they're gonna emulate certain behaviors, and especially because I have a daughter, I'm like, oh man, like I gotta be locked in, right? Like I need to treat her better than any other guy, you know, 10 or you know, 15, 20 years down the line ever could, right? Where her standard is so high that you know she doesn't feel like she needs the the validation or the attention from low-level humans down the road, right? Like hopefully when she compares you know potential boyfriends or husbands, you know, she's comparing them to me, and that bar is really high, is what I'm hoping for. Um, so that she's with someone that's great and treats her right, and she can have some of the things that my wife has and all the all that kind of stuff. So yeah, it's it it changes a little bit, but it's the same type of stuff. It's kind of going back to the mountain thing, right? Where it's like if my my initial mountain was like get a baseline level of like cash reserves personally, like the you know, the hierarchy of needs, like have a place to live, have vehicles, you know, not worry about having food and shelter day to day, week to week, month to month. Like that's been accomplished now. And I'm very blessed that that's like that stuff is accomplished. And it's like if I was just worried about our like just generally being comfortable, like there would be no reason to keep growing the business or doing any of that. Now, do I want my kids to be set up with some sort of like you know, financial investments and opportunities and be able to pay for their college, or I think it'll be alternative education as the norm by the time they're actually that old, right? But having some sort of thing put away from them, like, no, then more needs to be done. I do I want to someday when I'm a grandfather be able to financially take all of my kids and grandkids on a family trip somewhere once a year, like of course I want to do that. But if I just chill and stop now, I'm not gonna have the the opportunity and ability to do some of those things. So that's where what I mean by like, okay, there's a new mountain, right? My my family on my dad's side, we have 39 acres and you know, about 50 minutes north of St. George, Utah, where we have a trailer up there and it and it's really nice and we love to go up there, but it's like I want to put a family cabin up there someday, right? That that's not accomplishable if I just keep if I just stay where I'm at and I chill, right? And again, I'm very blessed where I'm at. Like I have everything I need, but simultaneously there are these other mounds and these other things I'd like to accomplish and um give to my family. So there's there's more work to be done, and really it's I kind of try to I try to view it as like it's my ethical obligation to make as much money as possible. Because if I'm making as much money as possible, I'm helping lots of people at that stage. If I'm helping lots of people, that's a net positive to the world. And like I do like to view myself as a good person, a good guy, and like somebody has to have the money. It might as well be someone that's gonna do good with it instead of bad with it, right? So that's some of my worldviews on some of that stuff.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

That's amazing. No, I love all of that. Um so uh something that I started doing is uh ending each uh conversation with uh you know it's a question soon around the name, no trade secrets. Um so I'll ask you, what is your one, you know, in business and life or being a dad or whatever? Um, what is your one you know trade secret that you don't think should be a secret anymore that uh that people should know?

SPEAKER_02 23:00

That's a really good ending question.

SPEAKER_00 23:05

I feel like I feel like you've given so many uh already uh over this conversation.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

And so I think the one other kind of mental frame that I find myself thinking through a lot, and one of my primary worldviews, um, I mentioned a lot of them on this call or on this video. Um, but the one that I haven't said is that you will get what you tolerate. And I think about that all the time, and it's applicable in every as every aspect of your life, as a parent, as a business owner, as a leader, as a husband, you know, whatever it might be, you will always get what you tolerate. So if there's something in your life right now that when you really reflect on it in your gut, you don't like it, you don't like how that person speaks to you, you don't like how this person, your business, is performing, you don't like the dynamic, um, you don't like something your wife is doing, right? Or whatever it might be, you will continue to have that happen because you're tolerating it. And if you want it to stop happening, you want to stop feeling that way, and you need to no longer tolerate it.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

Well, that's uh I think I think that's that's my favorite so far. Um, I love that. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing that. And Dylan, this has been this has been great. I feel like I've yeah, met a uh long lost brother on this because uh I know there are so many similarities with that. Yes. Um no, I can't wait to hopefully see you uh and meet you in person uh one day here soon as well. Uh we can get out on a golf course and uh and both uh both try and limit those blow-up holes together. Uh and uh and for me to meet your your your amazing wife and and your daughter. Uh and but thank you so much. This has been uh really uh I've really enjoyed our conversation and I know that uh whoever listens to this is like there is there's a lot of uh there's a lot of wisdom and and in everything that you s uh talked about and the stories you you shared that uh uh I know can if if more people could could learn some of these uh and have them framed in the way that you um you talked about them would help a lot of people. So uh thank you uh and keep serving and and uh yeah this was this was fun. Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_02 25:32

Thanks, brother. Appreciate you having me. It was a blessed.