The "Deathbed" Perspective, Taking the Leap, & Auditing Your Circle w/ Ayinde Bakari (Part 1) - Ep. 7

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Welcome to the No Trade Secrets Podcast. Today we have a good friend of mine, Ayende Bakari. Ayinde is a husband, a son, the vice president and co-founder of First Mate Logistics, a nationally recognized logistics company specializing in complex transportation solutions across North America. As a business leader, he focuses on growth strategy, finance partnerships, and building high-performance teams while helping scale the company into a major force within the transportation industry. He's also the founder of the Yin Worldwide Podcast, a platform centered around discipline, identity, emotional intelligence, wealth, and modern masculinity. Through the podcast, Yende shares perspective-driven conversations designed to challenge conventional thinking and help individuals put stronger internal foundations in a distracted world. Yen, welcome to the podcast, man. Thanks for being here. And congratulations.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

But knowing myself, that's probably exactly what's going to happen.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

That's that's part of the job, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:42

The part of the job. Yeah, but I've I've had I've had good good people around me like you, so uh hopefully I can take some notes, or maybe you'll uh send me a whole uh PowerPoint of what to do and what not to do, and we can try to skip over some of the you know harder parts of it.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

There is no playbook, man. It's uh it's uh uh as you're probably finding nothing changes.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

Uh yeah, that's that's what it's you know, look we've we've been good and you know, just this net came natural, you know. We didn't want anything too crazy, too big. Uh so just the two of us, man. It was it was awesome.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

That's awesome. So I'm really happy for you guys. Um so uh first mate logistics. Um you started this in college with your roommate. Tell me, you know, you I've we've all heard stories of uh some of the you know biggest companies in the world uh that are household names that have started in you know that very kind same sitting. Um how did this come about for you guys?

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Yeah, you know, we um uh uh me and my business partner were random roommates, and most of the time, conventional wisdom would tell you do not do business with a friend, a family member, um, or anybody that you have like a really strong emotional connection with because things can go south really fast. Um however, you know, we we just clicked, right? You know, he's good at what he does, I'm good at what I do. We very rarely step on each other's toes. Um, you know, and we me and him had graduated college, we both went our separate ways, did our own thing, and um, you know, six months, a year later or so, uh, me and him are grabbing a beer when we're talking about how much we hate, hate um our jobs. We just we can't stand them. And so um COVID hit, I guess, December, January, uh, I guess January of 2020. And um, you know, we still I ended up working from home for the the company I was working for at the time. He ended up kind of working from home for the company he was working with at the time, and we just started really kind of brainstorming more. And, you know, the next day I'm you know getting our business license and doing X, Y, and Z, getting insurance, planning things out, um, you know, business plans, things of that nature. And we just went for it. You know, we trusted uh that it was gonna go well. And maybe because we were dumb kids at the time, we just didn't know any better. Um, we just had no fear. And it's over the last, I guess going on six years now, it's worked out phenomenally. So uh, you know, hopefully we will be one of those household names here in the the coming you know, coming years, which I believe we will. Um, but you know, right now we just have a we got a hell of a team. We're you know eight people strong and and and just building something great.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

That's yeah, that's awesome. And you know, um since I met you um almost two years ago, we've obviously uh what started as a uh you know a business relationship uh between you know our companies has evolved into uh a really close and deep friendship. And uh, you know, we're very similar ages. Uh we have a lot of similarities as far as uh um what's important uh about uh you know that the importance of um mindset. Um and you know, I'm sure that there was uh something that you know that I uh struggled with when I first started my company of you know you're what twenty, you know, twenty-something years old, uh mid-twenties, uh and you know, when you talk about conventional wisdom, you also think about conventional thinking, and other people, uh for both of us, you know, probably would think you have no business starting this business, right? And uh you know, you didn't have years of track record of experience in the industry. You hadn't been there and seen everything before, like some of the veterans in your industry, and you're up going up against people who have been doing this for twenty, thirty, forty years. Uh um what you know what was the what was the thing that made you guys uh believe in yourself enough to take the jump and do it? When other people would maybe say you shouldn't.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

Yeah, I I think there's there's a few a few answers to that question. Um I think the first thing is once again, we're we're young at the time, and I think that's when young people should be the you know more willing to take that risk. There's there's less, you know, you have more time to make up for that risk if something were to go wrong. Um, you know, at 20, 24 uh is how old I was when the company started. Um I wasn't married, I didn't have kids, I still don't have kids. I'm married now, but I you know didn't have kids, less responsibilities, I had a mortgage, but all of those things that would maybe make me pause now if I were to um start a company, I didn't have those responsibilities then. Um which was like, okay, hey, this is the time for us to do it. If you're gonna take the risk, this is the time to take the chance and go after it. Um and same same with my business partner, right? He did, he wasn't married, didn't have kids. Um, there's just less less risk to take. Um so I guess the first part is I would say, you know, hey, coming straight out of college, that's the time to do it, right? I mean, you you don't know any better, right? You don't know that something can go wrong. You know, now nowadays I would say there's all these things that can go wrong because I have all this, I've learned all this stuff in business and yada, yada, yada. Hey, these are the things that can happen. Um, but back then I was like, all I was thinking was the upside. Like, oh, if this when this hits, you know, I'm gonna be driving this, I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna see the world and you know, all these great things I'm gonna do for my family, right? And so that was that was my mindset. That's still my mindset, but that was definitely my mindset then. Um, and I think that's probably the second thing is just mindset. You know, we fully believed, without a doubt, that the business was gonna be successful, right? There was no doubt in our minds that we were gonna break through and create something amazing. And we've done that, right? Um, and every single day is a challenge. It doesn't ever get necessarily, I don't say I won't say it gets easier, right? You just get better with handling the challenges that come up because they're similar to other challenges that you've already faced. So they're not as stressful um when when they come around again, right? So, you know, I think that's that that that conventional wisdom is so I don't know. That's what you know, my my my dad even told me, he's like, what are you doing? You're not gonna have health insurance. You you need health insurance. I was like, I'm 24, I don't need health insurance. I will be I'll be okay, right? You know, and there's that's there's people who care about you in the world who not necessarily they don't want to hold you back, but you know, they they want you to be okay, right? And I think if you're gonna be an exceptional person for the most part, you just gotta step out of the box and just go for it.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

Yeah. No, I mean it's I mean it's that uh the book that got my you know changed my mindset in the beginning, uh is The Rich Dad Poor Dad by uh Robert Kiyosaki, which you know it's and it's you know, we're you know, someone like your dad saying that it's not necessarily that they don't believe in you, but it's uh you know it's a different uh you know different generations that have different ways of perceiving risk and uh uh and how you know how what you should do, you know, the whole uh get a job and that will be uh secure, right? Security is is uh what's secure now is not the same uh environment than that our parents grew up in as far as security, but um when it comes to risk, you you know you said like you didn't have those responsibilities uh back then. How has your view on risk changed now that you do have more responsibilities in your life? Uh has that changed the way that you make decisions or take or don't take risks now?

SPEAKER_00 11:34

Yeah, I mean I think 100%. And we, you know, the risks that I take now are always a little bit more calculated. Um and not to say, not necessarily for myself, but you know, we have employees. So I'm always thinking, hey, whatever risk we decide to take business-wise doesn't just affect me or the other business owner, right? It affects you know eight other families. So I do take that very, you know, every single everything we decide we're gonna do has to be thoroughly thought out, right? Um, you know, we we have um you know, cushion in case, you know, something were to occur, but you know, in the ever-changing economy and ever-changing world that we're in, you know, you just you just don't know what what's gonna happen, right? Um and once again, I think that you know, I'm very I'm very much a positive individual and always have a positive mindset. But I think as a business owner, or you know, maybe even just as an individual as a whole, it's important to, you know, at least in the far back of your mind, you know, think, you know, have an idea of, okay, if this happened, how would I handle the situation? Right? Because you want to you do need to prepare for, and I I hate to use the word prepare, I really do. You you need that you know know how to handle situations when they when they arise, right? That's that's how I put it. I don't want to say prepare, um, because I don't want anybody to think that you should always keep a positive mindset and know things are gonna work out. Um but when you get into a position of responsibility for other individuals' lives, you need to make sure that you can you can take care of them if something occurs.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

Yeah, no, I think I think that's just uh you know, it's an evolution of it's now not just you that your decisions affect, right? It's uh the consequences that you you know the the decisions you uh control have consequences on on other people and and um and uh you have to think about that and take that into account um when that you know as as you as you grow and and get older and gain more responsibilities and have more people that depend on you. Um so the other thing uh the other point that you touched on uh was was on mindset, which is something obviously that you know that I believe really was the catalyst of how we started our friendship uh talking about that, because we approach and see the world uh and the importance of uh of mindset and your um your awareness and self-identity and how you s uh the role that plays as as being super important. Um and you know, it we really took it to a uh a new level when I remember, you know, I I sent I had sent you a book that uh that uh I thought would be impactful for you, and then you uh uh sent me a book, um uh which has now become, as you know, like my own Bible. You know, I still to this day read a chapter every single day. Um because one, uh you cannot read multiple chapters because it is there's so much wisdom uh and knowledge uh in those chapters, which are bullet points. Like the whole book is chapters of bullet points. Uh, but that book is um the master key system, which you know is um uh for anyone who hasn't checked that out, uh obviously I highly recommend reading that uh at least once, right? You know, it doesn't have to become a daily reader. Like I think I'm I think I'm on um my tenth or eleventh time reading it through. Um and you know, that book, you know, you gifted me something that changed my life, um, became a s you know a part of the foundation of every single morning. Um and I think that's something that is is missing from a lot of people's lives as far as how you know how that's all connected and uh because you are you know you said you're a pretty positive person. Well, I you know, you I've said it to you before, you are the like the most optimistic person I've ever met in my life. Um it does not matter what you know, and obviously we work closely with uh you and and uh first mate logistics, and you know there's always a challenge in business, and like you like whatever challenges, uh big challenges that you guys have gone through, or curveballs that have been thrown, um most people wouldn't be able to take that with a smile and uh and optimism. Uh that's you know, some of those things are some of the like the types of things that completely would crush a person and uh and install a lot of pessimism and uncertainty and fear and scarcity into their mindset, but it did not do that for you, at least from my point of view and perspective and observation, um, to you in the slightest. Uh how do you how are you able to do that?

SPEAKER_00 17:51

Yeah, I'd uh I don't think there's a you know, I think everybody's just wired a certain way, you know. But if you look at I let me I guess let me start here. I fully believe that there is two things that go into business that one you can control and one you can't. One, I believe there's a little bit of luck in every business, right? And this is one thing that you know that's one thing you just can't control. Did you start your business at the right time? Like we happened to start our business in 2020, it was in the middle of COVID, and the the transportation industry was booming, right? I fully believe, like, yes, we had a great business plan, yes, we had some you know great ideas, but I fully believe that plays a part in um how how your business is gonna succeed or when it's gonna take off, right? Um, you know, there's there's stories all all about that, right? I mean, if we go to um, you know, Bill Gates and Microsoft, right? There's certain, you know, he started at a certain time. He happened to go to one of the only schools in Washington that had a computer, right? And so there's there's these little little bits of luck in everybody's life that um, and is it luck, is it God, is it the universe, it could be all of these things, right? That play a part in the trajectory of how um well you know how your life is gonna be shaped. But I think the other part that's even more important is your mindset. You know, there's bad things are gonna happen, right? You know, I met Jerome through the craziest situation of our, you know, and I'll I'll be honest, our books were just kaput, right? And you know, Jerome Superman came in, right? And and and and you know, did the did the thing. Like he he made it look like it was the easiest thing getting things fixed, right? And the only reason I was able to stay positive through that is really because one, I knew Jerome knew what he was doing, Jerome and Arrowhead, right, knew what they were doing. And the second thing was I knew that, and I can't say exactly how I knew this, but I just knew, hey, this is even though this is really bad right now, and you know, it's gonna take time to get fixed, the universe is you know getting this fixed right now for a reason. Um, and we caught what was going on at that particular time for a reason. Um and things have nothing but skyrocketed since then, right? Things were already going well, and they've skyrocketed since then, right? So I think there's you know, the universe is gonna test you sometimes to see are you ready for the next steps, right? Or trying to prepare you for the next steps. Um, and part of that's probably how I was raised, right? You know, my parents always raised me that way. Um, they never raised me to have a pessimistic, you know, mindset. Um, so I do try to look for okay, the best in every situation, right? You know, hey, you know, we damage something. Okay, well, hey, how can we make this up to the customer? How can we build a better customer relationship through this process, right? Um, so I do think there's a there's a light to every negative thing, right? You can turn every negative into a positive. Um and yeah, sometimes it's it's gonna be hard to try to turn it into a positive, but you just like you said, smile through it and see what happens.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Yeah. No, and you know, you talk about luck, um, and you know that um and you know, uh, I think if anyone wants to really see kind of that in action with uh, you know, that Bill Gates uh example is in Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell's book. Uh it's you know reading that really showed me like um how how much luck there is and like it is there's you know, whether it's timing or uh your environment. uh you know like you saying that your your parents brought you up with uh and shaped that optimism into your mindset uh you know like I think that must have played a big part as well uh you know what is your environment uh what are uh what are those ways of thinking that you were brought up around right and um and you know and it's I think that's also um you know believing that uh things are happening and unfolding as they should you know for a reason um because uh there it I I you know I think it's a choice uh any bad situation um you know if you look at it for what it is it's just you know it's not you know if really nothing is n either good or bad that's just a point of view and a perspective and you can find good or you can find bad in any single scenario or situation or opportunity or challenge or uh that you find yourself in. And it's really a conscious choice of being able to find find the growth find the good in something that someone else may perceive as bad because you know yeah exactly how you know the um the conditions upon which we met most people would say was a bad thing. You know like news that I had to you know uh I don't think uh many friendships started off with having to like make sure you're sitting down to hear something that like I was prepared just like most people I think would have uh responded to like sick to their stomach like that's the worst news they've ever heard and I told you and I'm like like you're under like I had to make sure you're understanding like that you understood what I said correctly because you just there was really no no r reaction like that and it was um and that was really uh you know that started our friendship and uh and then I think you know at least I see that and it's like well like the things that have unfolded because of that bad thing um if that didn't happen uh the amount of growth since then that you guys have experienced may not have ever happened um and you know I definitely you know if if this uh if this thing didn't happen uh I wouldn't have been like there would be no scenario where I would have our paths would have crossed and uh and that's you know one less you know one f friend that I wouldn't have uh but you know it's that's not how it worked out.

SPEAKER_00 25:36

Yeah no I I'm with you.

SPEAKER_01 25:37

I mean I honestly like I said first of all for everybody listening out there Jerome is a wizard okay arrowhead is a wizard that what he's built over the last what are you on two years now I guess it's two years I think it's two or two years just over two yeah just over two years yeah he's it's you know he's he's talking about me but he's really built something special he knows what he's doing um and you know I gotta think I thank him every day right he doesn't realize he's bragging about me but really uh he should really be bragging about himself because he's done some some great work he's built a great team over there um and you know you know I even for you like Jerome it's you already had a positive mindset right you knew you were on this track you had been you know trying to you're like okay am I gonna buy business you know at least previous stores you told me you were thinking about buying a business or are you gonna do this you're gonna do that you know you saw you you were you know where you were at previously you saw like hey I yourself I don't want to work this you know eight to four or nine to five job working for somebody else I want to build something special right you know you knew that probably from a younger age right um or you know you just were sitting there one day and you're like this is sucking my soul away like working here feels like it's sucking my soul away um and for you I'm I'm sure for yourself it's the same for me you just one day like I have to go do something for myself right even if I'm I'm taking a huge risk worst case scenario I know I can get a job someplace else if I if this doesn't work worst case scenario I'm giving myself at least a year runway and if it doesn't work in a year then I I'll go you know get another job someplace else right yeah I mean I think the the question you know uh people ask is you know what if it doesn't work out and it's like I challenge you to ask what if it does right like my biggest thing has been you know especially when uh you know faced with a decision um that I am aware that there might be fear uh going into uh you know fear is a factor that could influence what decision I make which you know starting the company is is is one of those times because um and it's uh what really helped me was asking myself like what would future me on my deathbed you know when it you know if if if I was on my deathbed and I use this uh scenario for a lot of things now it's if I was on my deathbed you know at that point what else really matters it's not it's not money it's not things it's not titles or accomplishments or any of that stuff no longer matters it's a you know it's the people you love but also internally I had to ask myself on my deathbed like how can I like I want to live a life that uh that me on my deathbed could look back and say whatever happens however much money you make however much of an impact you make whatever success you create or have um being able to look back and say I didn't have any regrets and is this something I will regret doing or regret not doing and I think that's one of the biggest things that uh I think stop a lot of people from uh from going out and doing the things that they want to do is um is uh and you know what you know a lot you know there's I can't remember the uh uh who talked about this but uh someone interviewed uh like a hundred people who were uh were on their deathbed or close to dying and asked them all uh a lot of different questions but one of the common themes between all of them uh or at least an overwhelming majority was the biggest regrets that they had was the things that they didn't do. And when you you know try and put yourself in that situation how can you regret trying something because nothing is you know very few things are reversible to the point that it uh can't be undone in some way shape or form. You might yeah you might you might lose some money along the way but you can always make more money. But you know when it comes to taking a chance on yourself to for something that's uh bigger than yourself like I just never want to have that regret. And so you know any anything that is scary to do if you ask yourself that question a lot of the time it comes back to like I will regret not doing this.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

And yeah it's and I'm sure that's you know that's you know that's something we've talked about uh before and but then you know with with mindset you know like you and I um the similarities we have but you know I you know something is uh since I've known you has been that you have made my life better and my mindset better just by being around you even if not in person you know very much um you know the energy that you you know it's uh and then you know it comes this this cycle of kind of reciprocal energy between each other like where um what so what what role do you think uh you know the people you surround yourself and their energy play in in success and business and life and happiness everything that's everything a hundred percent everything it's funny enough I just uh I spoke on this on my podcast a little bit but those relationships are so important you know from you know having people in your life who are in both ways having people in your life who are willing to you know be there and say hey you you can do this who like believe in you to do something and then on the other end having people in your life who are like will also tell you when you're wrong right um and not tell you when you're like when you're wrong to stop you from going after your dreams but tell you like hey that thing you did was wrong you shouldn't have done that um you know but having positive people in your life super important the energy that you feed you know they give you helps push you forward right and same deal right you know Jerome you've been that for me um there's other you know other people in my life who've been that for me um and you know you can really feed off that it can also be a damper right it can be if you're around negative people the the opposite is true right I mean we've all heard it right you know show me who your five best friends are and I'll show you an average of who you actually are right so that's so very true um and I know it can be hard especially when you get to a certain level in life it is really really hard to one separate friendships that you've had for a long time for individuals that are no longer headed in the same trajectory that you're headed and then find other individuals who are going in the same direction you're going right you know it can it's it can be tough right and you know Jerome where you're at it's tough. I'm in a small city too right it can be tough right and so it's like you just got to find people like me and Jerome talk at least once a week right and so it's one of those things where we can bounce ideas off of each other or if there's something you know going on in the business we can you know run through that things of that nature are super important. And then I think there's the aspect of I don't know about you Jerome but I I've never really had a mentor you know like a business mentor or anything. Like I might I don't come from a family of business owners or anything of that nature. So I guess my business mentor was books it was reading just kind of you know going through stuff and seeing what people did.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

But now that I've been introduced to other business owners a lot of times we're you know Jerome you're going through the same stuff I'm going through sometimes and vice versa or maybe you've been through it and I haven't been through it yet so you're like hey you should try this this and this um so yeah I mean really surrounding yourself with good positive people your spouse I mean your spouse might be your number one thing you better decide who you're gonna be with um and not necessarily because if they leave you they can take half uh it's it's more decide of um you know you need somebody if you're gonna be a business owner or somebody who's successful they need to be understanding of hey I'm gonna be busy I'm gonna be working on this or that um you know drone your wife is great she understands like what you're building and what you're building towards my wife is great she understands the same not that they don't miss us when we're you know working but they understand you know what we're what we're working towards yeah no I it's definitely the it's the most uh important consultant uh you can ever have on your team um uh you know and it's you know like n neither of us have kids uh yet but uh obviously that's in both of our futures uh you know God willing, right? And yeah you know I obviously without having that experience myself I can you know you know because like some people uh I feel like you know uh could see oh being married it's gonna have more responsibility like that's actually going to get in the way of succeeding in your business but as you and I do know that is a superpower and the same way I think that yes when you have children that's going to add a unfathomable unfathomable amount of new responsibility uh something that I neither of us will be able to understand until the day that that happens but I I I truly believe that is going to be another superpower uh the same way as having uh a really rock solid uh supportive spouse is gonna be um you know because it just you know that's a it's a new it's a it gives you a new reason for your why and to um why you're doing this and um but uh you know when you talk about high performance teams right because I've seen you know I've seen it firsthand um hell that's something that you're incredibly gifted in is being able to get the best out of people um what you know what are the what are the most important things uh in building uh someone you know someone listening uh has a business has a team uh and performance is not where they want it to be how can they how can someone make that shift uh and start building a high performance team